Father’s Day After Loss
Before losing my dad, I remember the traditions Father’s Day used to hold. I would make my dad a card, find a gift (usually wacky socks), and go do an activity that would fill up his cup (gardening, boating or cooking). Over time, our Father’s Day traditions began to shift due to my father having cancer most of my life. In 2016, he went home to our Lord and Savior, and it felt like Father’s Day was a day I could no longer celebrate.
The hardest part about loss is that it impacts us all differently. Over the past few years, I have gone through waves of emotions when it comes to Father’s Day. One year, I would make a post about him online to celebrate the amazing man that he was. The next year, I would staring a photo of him, while crying and could barely go outside. I began to realize that in our culture there are so many ways that we celebrate Father’s Day when they are here with us, however, there are very little resources out there for how we can celebrate our fathers who are no longer with us. I would like to share a few things that I have done through my ebbs and flows of grief.
Ideas for Honoring the Fathers We Have Lost
- Go do an activity that your father loved to do – My dad loved art and back at my hometown, they would have a local art show that we would go to. My mother and I would go together, appreciate the local art and talk about what art he would have bought. It’s in those moments; we can begin to remember the joyous moments of your father’s life.
- Write a card or letter to him – This is a way to express everything you have desired to say to him and giving a place to put it that isn’t swirling in your head.
- Donate or volunteer at a favorite charity/organization – You can use the money that you were typically going to use to spend on gifts and give to an organization in his memory or serve!
- Spend the day by yourself in reflection with God – This may look different for each of us as we process our grief. This could look like: listening to worship music, bible journaling, going on a walk while listening to a devotional, etc. It has always brought me such comfort that “Jesus wept.” John 11:35 ESV. Our Lord and Savior also experienced grief, and it should be a reminder for all of us that grief isn’t something to avoid. Here are a few scriptures that have brought me some peace during my grief: Isaiah 41:10 ESV and Psalm 23 ESV.
Final Encouragement
My hope and prayer are that you remember: grief is something we all experience, and we are not alone in our grief. May you be able to celebrate/honor your father in a way that brings you peace and comfort in remembrance on his life.