Blueprints: What Jesus Said About Judging Others
Blueprint for Better Relationships: What Jesus Really Said About Judging Others
We’re now in the eighth week of our nine-week series called Blueprints: Jesus’ Plan for Life. Week after week, we’ve been uncovering an essential truth: Jesus came not only to save us, but also to show us how to live. He laid out a blueprint for withstanding life’s storms—relational storms, emotional storms, financial storms, and spiritual storms.
This week’s focus? Challenging relationships. (Raise your hand if you’ve ever had one of those… yeah, us too.)
Jesus knew relationships would be one of the hardest parts of life. When they’re healthy, life feels good. When they’re broken, life gets messy. So He gave us a surprising starting point for navigating these tricky relational waters: “Do not judge.”
When Relationships Get Tough, Start Here
Let’s be honest—judging comes naturally to us. You’re driving, you see someone texting at the wheel, and you think, I’m staying far away from that guy. We make assessments all day long. But Jesus draws a hard line when it comes to interpersonal relationships:
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” — Matthew 7:1
That’s His first piece of relationship advice.
Wait, what? No communication tips? No conflict resolution workshop? Nope. Just this: Stop judging people.
And it would’ve shocked Jesus’ first-century listeners. In their world, religious leaders were the moral police, constantly passing judgment. But Jesus flips the script. He’s not saying we should stop observing—He’s saying we should stop evaluating motives and assigning blame. Why? Because we’re just not good at it. We misread motives. We don’t know the full story. Often, we can’t even figure out our own heart, let alone someone else’s.
The Log in Our Eye
Jesus doesn’t stop at “don’t judge.” He goes on:
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” — Matthew 7:3
Jesus paints a hilarious mental image—trying to do eye surgery on someone else while a 2×4 is sticking out of your own eye. It’s absurd, and that’s the point.
Before we rush to criticize someone else, Jesus says, Check yourself first. Often, the thing we’re judging others for is a reflection of something unresolved in ourselves. We criticize people’s intelligence when we feel insecure about our own. We pick on someone’s appearance because we’re self-conscious about ours.
The harshest critics often have the deepest wounds.
Discernment vs. Judgment
But Jesus doesn’t just say “never make a judgment.” He calls for discernment. That’s different.
He says in Matthew 7:6:
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs.”
This sounds cryptic until you understand the cultural context. Dogs and pigs in first-century Judaism weren’t beloved pets—they were dirty, wild, and unwanted. Jesus is essentially saying: Don’t offer sacred things to people who won’t value them—and may even turn on you.
His point? Christians should not judge non-Christians. People who haven’t agreed to follow Jesus haven’t signed up to live by His standards. So why would we expect them to? Imposing spiritual values on people who haven’t embraced faith often does more harm than good. It drives them away.
That’s not spiritual elitism. It’s maturity.
Ask for Help
Jesus knows how tough relationships can be. That’s why He offers us help:
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened.” — Matthew 7:7
We usually quote this verse when we want something from God—direction, provision, miracles. But the original context? Relationships.
Jesus is saying, Ask God for wisdom with the people in your life who are hard to love. Seek solutions. Knock on Heaven’s door when you feel stuck.
God wants to help us mend broken relationships. But we often skip this step. We try to fix things ourselves instead of inviting God into the process.
The Golden Rule (Still Golden)
Jesus wraps up this section with one of the most famous teachings of all time:
“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.” — Matthew 7:12
We call it the Golden Rule, and it’s a mic-drop moment. Jesus says this sums up the entire Old Testament.
If you want kindness, be kind. If you want forgiveness, forgive. If you want people to assume the best about you, do the same for them. Live like the person you wish others were to you.
Questions to Reflect On
Let’s get practical. Think about a challenging relationship in your life—family, coworker, neighbor, maybe even someone here at church. Ask yourself:
- Am I judging them unfairly?
Do I really have all the facts? Or am I writing a narrative that may not be true? - Have I asked God for help?
Have I invited Him into the situation, or am I trying to fix it on my own? - What would I want if I were in their shoes?
Am I treating them the way I would want to be treated?
When we build our lives (and our relationships) on Jesus, the storms may still come… but we won’t collapse.
Want better relationships? Start by judging less, checking yourself, seeking God, and living out the Golden Rule.
That’s a blueprint worth building on.