Love Like Jesus: When Love Sounds Like Listening
We’re in week two of our series Love Like Jesus, asking a simple but challenging question:
What does it look like when the church leaves the building?
Not just when we gather on weekends—but when we step into our workplaces, schools, neighborhoods, and everyday conversations. How do people know we’re connected to Jesus?
Jesus himself answered that question:
“Love each other. Just as I have loved you… Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (John 13:34–35)
Notice what Jesus didn’t say.
He didn’t say people would know us by how loud we are, how right we are, or how offended we are.
He said they’d know us by our love.
A Culture That’s Forgotten How to Listen
Coming out of COVID, something became painfully clear: we’re facing a mental health crisis. Isolation increased. Anxiety skyrocketed. Depression rose. Even suicide and substance abuse climbed dramatically. People weren’t coping well—and many still aren’t.
In the midst of praying through this reality, God nudged me back to school to pursue a master’s degree in counseling. One of my very first classes was… listening.
A whole class. Textbooks, podcasts, videos—all on listening.
At first, I thought, Do we really need graduate-level courses on something this basic?
Turns out, yes. We do.
Because as a culture, we’re terrible listeners.
Over the last 50 years, the way we communicate has changed radically. Technology isn’t bad—but it has reshaped how we interact. Somewhere along the way, we lost the ability to truly hear one another. And one of the reasons mental health struggles are exploding is this:
People don’t feel listened to.
And when people don’t feel listened to, they don’t feel loved.
Jesus Knew This All Along
Jesus understood something we often miss:
When people feel listened to, they feel loved.
That truth comes alive in one of the longest recorded conversations Jesus ever had—with a Samaritan woman at a well (John 4).
This encounter breaks every social rule imaginable.
Jews didn’t associate with Samaritans.
Men didn’t speak to women in public.
Rabbis avoided people with “messy” pasts.
Jesus ignores all of it.
Instead of avoiding Samaria like most Jews, Jesus walks straight through it. He meets this woman at noon—the hottest part of the day—when no one else is around. That alone tells us something is off. Women usually came to draw water in the morning or evening. This woman came alone.
And the first thing Jesus says isn’t a sermon.
It isn’t correction.
It isn’t theology.
It’s a question:
“Will you give me a drink?”
Three Ways Jesus Loved Through Listening
From this story, we learn three powerful principles about loving like Jesus.
1. Jesus Opens with Vulnerability, Not Authority
Jesus positions himself not as someone with all the answers, but as someone with a need.
“Can you help me?”
That single question levels the playing field. Despite the massive power difference between them, Jesus humbles himself. Vulnerability creates connection—and connection opens the door to love.
So often, Christians lead with authority: Here’s what you need to fix.
Jesus leads with vulnerability: Can we talk?
2. Jesus Acknowledges the Past Without Condemnation
When Jesus gently names the woman’s history—five husbands and a complicated present—he does it without shame or judgment.
He tells the truth, but he doesn’t weaponize it.
We tend to assign narratives quickly: She must be immoral. She must be the problem.
Jesus doesn’t assume. He listens.
And because she feels safe, she stays. She opens up. She engages.
That’s how we know she felt seen and heard.
3. Jesus Points Toward Hope, Not Shame
Jesus doesn’t leave her stuck in her past. He invites her into a future filled with living water—life, healing, restoration, and worship in spirit and truth.
Her past isn’t ignored, but it isn’t her identity either.
And the result?
She runs back to town—the very place she had been avoiding—and tells everyone about Jesus.
An entire community is changed because one woman was listened to.
What This Means for Us
As we leave the building and enter our everyday lives, what does this look like practically?
Here are three simple takeaways:
Ask questions before making statements.
Questions create space. Jesus was far more concerned with hearing than being heard.Listen without planning your response.
Most of us listen just long enough to figure out what we’re going to say next. Real love requires presence.Share hope for the future.
Don’t get stuck dissecting someone’s past. Help them see what could be possible ahead.
You’re in the Story Too
Some of us are the woman at the well—feeling isolated, ashamed, or unseen. If that’s you, know this: Jesus wants to hear your story. He isn’t afraid of it, and he won’t define you by it.
Others of us are called to be Jesus in the story this week—at work, at school, at a party, or over coffee. God has placed people around you who may never step into a church building but desperately need someone to listen.
Imagine the ripple effect if each of us intentionally listened to just one person this week.
One conversation changed an entire town.
What might God do through you—if love sounded like listening?