Raising Godly Kids In A Modern World
There is no linear path when it comes to raising Godly kids in a modern world. We can feel especially helpless when our kids face things we never had to navigate at their age. Here’s the key. Spend less energy trying to shield them. Spend more energy in the trenches WITH them.
This can feel SO DIFFICULT. Kids are often exposed to content far before we are ready to help them navigate it. It might be porn, violence, or tragic loss. I’ve seen parents struggle with the lack of support they get from culture when trying to teach biblical values. It might be biblical views on sexuality or money that receive significant pushback at school or among friends. It leaves many parents thinking that the world is just too far from Jesus and that they can’t protect their kids.
God never asked us to live in a bubble. He asked us to go into the world and make disciples.
That applies to parenting too.
What if I don’t know what I think or what to say?
- Be real. You aren’t an expert on their life or this culture no matter who you are. Let them know that!
- Show them what you are doing to educate yourself about a topic you’re unfamiliar with in healthy ways.
- Be open with them about what you’re wrestling with when it comes to the bible and how it applies. Be specific about what scripture you are reading and what questions you have.
This normalizes having hard conversations, analyzing culture and the bible, and make you a safe person to relate to.
How do I communicate with them about culture?
- Don’t wait for them to come to you! Don’t wait until you have it figured out. Feel awkward. Talk anyway. It teaches them that they can have awkward or uncomfortable conversations without losing relationships.
- Ask more questions than you give advice. If they don’t feel heard and supported they wont be honest with you.
- Affirm when they’ve said something healthy or that you agree with. It’s a more effective way of steering them than lectures or giving your opinion.
How do they engage with culture in a healthy way?
- With your guidance! Kids and teens create a vacuum where they are learning and talking with no input from caregivers. Give them another perspective when you can. Ask questions when things seem unhealthy or you just don’t get it.
- Engage with them. Ask them what you could do so that their friends would want to hang out at your house. Download the app they want yourself so that you can talk about it and connect through it. Take them out just to connect on something that matters to them without an agenda. If they feel you care, they will listen to you.
- Protect them from things that are dangerous or addictive. For other things, ask questions, affirm what’s healthy, and set boundaries when you feel they are needed without guilt.
In middle school my daughter experienced some of the worst that the modern world has to offer. As a parent I was angry, felt helpless, and constantly second guessed what I was doing. Talking to her about it now, years later, what mattered the most were the times I made space for her to think it through. The questions I asked mattered. My intervention mattered. But most of all the awkward and emotional conversations mattered. She has come through a better person able to analyze and seek the Lord for herself when it comes to the culture she lives in every day.
The bad news is you can’t fully protect them from unhealthy aspects of modern culture. The good news is that putting them in a bubble was never the goal. Teach them how to analyze what they see and hear. Teach them how to turn to scripture, understand it, and apply it. Then let them try! Be there every step of the way affirming their good choices and navigating the bad stuff with them. That is how you make disciples.
There is no one way to do this, but I know that YOU can.